How companies are accidentally training future leaders to stay quiet

Early in my career, I can remember sitting in meetings with a question I wanted to ask and talking myself out of it. 

I worried it would make me seem inexperienced or unprepared. I told myself I could figure it out later. And I assumed everyone else in the room probably understood what I didn’t. 

What I didn’t appreciate at the time was that the questions I kept to myself were probably exactly what was needed to move conversation forward. In fact, someone else was likely wondering the same thing. Asking might have uncovered a new perspective, helped us arrive at a better solution or enabled us to get to clarity more quickly.

With experience, I realize how much innovation we leave on the table when employees filter themselves out of the conversation.

Today, I hear similar concerns about early-career employees who are reluctant to ask questions in meetings. People assume Generation Z lacks confidence, they’re too dependent on technology, or they prefer texting and Slacking to face-to-face conversation. 

This pressure to appear knowledgeable isn’t new, and it’s not specific to Gen Z. I felt it early in my career and still feel it at times. There are always employees who are afraid to ask questions. The difference is that we’ve built a workplace where they no longer need to. AI can answer a question instantly. Digital tools make it easy to work around uncertainty without exposing it. 

But when we reward fast answers over exploration, we lose more than curiosity. We lose one of the primary ways people learn, collaborate and innovate together. 

Curiosity carries different consequences depending on who’s asking the question 

When a senior leader asks for clarification, it’s often viewed as thoughtful engagement. When someone early in their career asks the same question, it can feel like they’re exposing what they don’t know.

Our recent State of Curiosity research found that nearly half of Gen Z workers feel pressure to already know the answer. More than 4 in 10 say they’ve held back from asking questions because they worried they’d already asked too many. Those findings don’t suggest a generation that lacks curiosity. They suggest a generation that has learned it’s risky to show it.

That’s an important distinction. If curiosity were disappearing, we’d have a talent problem. Instead, what we’re seeing is a culture problem. 

The message many early-career employees are receiving is a dangerous one: curiosity is welcome. Uncertainty is not.

Some lessons have to be learned out loud

AI makes it easier than ever to get answers privately. In many ways, that can be helpful. But some of the most important leadership skills aren’t developed by finding the right answer. They’re developed by wrestling with uncertainty alongside other people. 

Many important lessons at work come from the conversations around them. A manager explains why a business decision was made. A teammate challenges an assumption. A peer offers context you didn’t know to ask for. Those moments are how people learn to navigate ambiguity, build relationships and develop the skills that eventually prepare them for leadership.

Today’s workplace also offers fewer opportunities for the kind of learning that used to happen almost by accident. Early in your career, you learned by overhearing conversations, watching colleagues handle difficult situations or asking a quick question after a meeting.

In hybrid and remote environments, those moments are less frequent. At the same time, AI and digital tools make it easier than ever to find answers on your own. Learning now requires more intentionality, and asking a question often takes more courage than simply looking it up. That means leaders have to work harder to create spaces where questions, discussion and learning happen out loud. 

I worry we’re focusing on the wrong problem. Are our up-and-coming leaders getting enough opportunities to practice the curiosity leadership requires? 

This matters right now because the skills that organizations need most are changing. As AI becomes better at generating answers, the human advantage is shifting upstream. The organizations that will thrive will be the ones with employees who are curious enough to ask the questions AI can’t answer. 

What gets rewarded gets repeated

Gen Z’s reluctance to speak up is a leadership challenge. 

The first step is taking an honest look at what we reinforce every day. If every interaction rewards the person with the fastest answer, employees quickly learn that confidence matters more than curiosity.

The most admirable leaders I’ve worked with aren’t afraid to be wrong. They ask questions. They definitely change their minds. They are curious all the time, especially in front of their teams. Just as importantly, they create opportunities for discussion before answers are expected. They understand that learning often happens in the conversation, not after it.

I’ve seen leaders stop a meeting and say, “I think we’re moving too quickly. What are we missing?” I’ve seen executives ask junior employees to explain an issue from their perspective. Those moments not only surface better ideas, they give everyone else permission to be curious, too.

To do this, you aren’t lowering standards or sacrificing time. It can be as simple as recognizing that asking questions and admitting what you don’t know play a role in making better decisions. 

Curiosity shouldn’t come with a career risk

The leaders organizations will need tomorrow are the ones willing to ask difficult questions, challenge assumptions and surface what others miss. If employees learn early that those behaviors carry risk, we shouldn’t be surprised when fewer people raise their hands later.

We say we want courageous leaders, but courage doesn’t suddenly appear with a leadership title. It develops much earlier, in the everyday moments when people decide whether it’s safe to speak up, ask if there’s a better way, or simply say, “I don’t know.”

Those moments shape how people learn, grow and ultimately lead. They certainly shaped me.